


I Don't Have A Clue

by audreyii_fic



Series: The Sparrowkeet Series [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-14 04:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyii_fic/pseuds/audreyii_fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sokka fills Zuko in on a bit of Katara's <i>past</i>. He doesn't react all that well. Sparrowkeet!verse; guest-written by <b>Like A Dove</b>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Have A Clue

**Author's Note:**

> NOTICE: This sucker is written by Like A Dove, as a favor to myself: first, because she can get in Zuko's head whereas I find it a terrifying place to be, way worse than Azula, and two, because I've written four or five outtakes for her over the years and it was time for her to fanfic my fanfic.
> 
> Many, many thanks again to Like A Dove, not only for writing this but for dragging me into Avatar in the first place. (And by "Drag" I mean "Mention Zutara" then "Egg me on as I streamlined the entire series in a week" and "Mention multiple times how nice it would be if you were to write fic, I mean, come on..."

  
**_I Don't Have a Clue_ **   
_(written by Like A Dove)_   


 

 

Zuko likes Katara's cooking.

It's basic and hearty, but it has flavor, which he appreciates. It's not really what he's used to, but then, he's not used to anything about this situation.

Zuko also thinks he might like Katara's cooking because he likes _her_.

Well, that's not true.

Zuko _loves_ her.

She's the reason why he's here, although he would never say so, because saying so out loud would mean that he technically lied to her when he first arrived.

" _Why are you here?" she asks, sliding a small step back when he reaches out to touch her._

_He had been afraid of that, but he couldn't say he was surprised._

_She appraised him with a raised eyebrow, arms crossed over her chest, waiting for him to speak._

_He sits down on the edge of his bed and gives her the answer she wants to hear._

" _I'm here to teach the Avatar how to firebend and help bring peace to the Nations and set things right."_

_It's not a lie, it's just not necessarily the truth._

_She nods slowly, looking relieved and…and something else. "That's all?"_

" _That's all." He turns away from her because he doesn't think he can deal with not being able to touch her. But he can't help but peek at her out of the corner of his eye._

_He's surprised to see that she looks slightly disappointed._

Katara is eating her own meal slowly, and occasionally she looks up at all the other kids sitting around the campfire to make sure that everyone is eating.

He takes the moment to watch her.

She's stopped wearing her hair in a braid. It's loose now, except for the two strands she pulls back away from her face, and it hangs loose around her shoulders in pretty waves.

He wants to run his fingers through it.

Her face is thinner then how he remembers it from the beginning, when she was just a silly girl protecting the highly sought after Avatar. Part of it is the loss of baby fat, the other is the malnutrition from spending months traveling and missing regular meals.

He doesn't care. He wants to kiss her cheek, her temple, the tip of her nose, her jaw, and her neck.

Her clothes are lighter now and less bulky in order to accommodate the Fire Nation heat. The sleeves are short, exposing her arms, and there's a slit up the legs of her dress. Doesn't matter, of course, she wears leggings underneath. He suspects her under wrappings are the same as they were...before.

He wants her in nothing at all. He just wants to feel her skin against his.

His vision is suddenly filled with blue eyes, and he realizes after a beat that Katara has caught him watching her and is giving him the _look._

 _Don't stare_ , it means.

He reluctantly turns his gaze elsewhere and starts to eat his food again.

As everyone around him is finishing their meal the conversation starts to pick up.

Zuko listens in. It's a distraction.

Toph is explaining to the Avatar the benefits of toe-picking. The Avatar is listening with rapt attention, as if this is life changing information, all the while shoving fruit into his mouth. The other earthbender, Haru, joins in on occasion.

Zuko sighs. _Earthbenders._

Teo, the Duke and Pipsqueak are talking about bombs. Not surprising.

Sokka and Suki are cuddling. And kissing. And groping. They're one of _those_ couples. Zuko can't help but seethe with jealousy whenever he looks at them. They're _normal_. Neither of them ever hated the other.

"Sokka, Suki, could you two cut it out? I'm trying to eat."

Everyone's conversation freezes at Katara's irritated outburst.

Sokka rolls his eyes and if anything pulls Suki closer to him. "Don't cramp our style, Katara."

Katara's eyes narrow into slits. She must be feeling especially vicious tonight. "I'm not trying to _cramp your style_ , Sokka, but I would like to not throw up."

Everyone around the campfire except for Zuko starts backing away. When Katara is angry things have the tendency to get frozen.

Sokka is giving his younger sister a pitying look. "If you had your significant other with you tonight you'd be doing the exact same thing."

The hopeful look the Avatar casts in Katara's direction doesn't go unnoticed by Zuko.

It does by the waterbender, however.

"No," she seethes, "I wouldn't because it's _rude._ You can do that privately."

"So if Jet was here you wouldn't be cuddling? I _know_ you had a thing for him. Not that I approve—"

"Wait, what?"

Zuko stiffens when everyone's gaze settles on him. He gulps. He'd like to think he didn't hear what he thought he heard…

Sokka is already shaking his head and leaning forward, already into his explanation. "When we were with Jet and his Freedom Fighters for a couple of days it was _obvious_ that she had a crush on the psycho, despite the fact that her extremely wise and knowledgeable older brother _warned her_ —"

" _Shut up,_ Sokka!" Katara is looking back and forth between her brother and Zuko with a mortified expression on her face.

"Jet is the ex you talked about?" Zuko asks her softly, and even in the firelight he can see all the blood draining from her face. Sokka is suddenly casting suspicious looks in his sister's direction. Zuko hooked his finger in demonstration. "Fought with hooks? Chews grass? Overall a piece of shit?"

There's a collective gasp around the campfire. Zuko sighs, already knowing he's said something wrong.

Katara looks at him with wide, horrified eyes. "You knew Jet?"

Zuko nods. "Mhmm."

"Yeah well, he's dead now," Toph offers, and the Avatar looks scandalized at her nonchalance.

Zuko blinks. That's right. Katara had mentioned that her ex (her _first_ ) was gone.

Oh. What a pity.

Something twists in his gut. Something foul and rotten, and he knows that if he opens his mouth that fire will come out.

_Fucking Jet?_

_**Really?** _

Jet had seen Katara ( _his_ Katara) naked.

Zuko decides that Jet should be thankful that he is already dead.

Because his slow, agonizing death by Zuko's hands would have been fairly unpleasant.

Zuko sets his half empty bowl of food back on the ground and starts to push himself to his feet. He glances in Katara's direction, and she looks panicky as she stares up at him. As though maybe she didn't want him to know.

He wants to kick over his bowl of food, stomp on things, and pout.

He refrains.

"Oh, are you done with that? I'll just finish that for you." And then Toph is snatching up his remaining dinner and shoveling his food into her mouth, all the while smirking.

The blind earthbender knows. Zuko has no idea how she knows, but she knows. Amazing, how she can't physically see and yet is the most observant one out of the entire group.

Zuko grunts before turning around and walking away, towards his room.

"What's his problem?" he hears Sokka say, followed by a swift, "OW! What was that for?"

"Learn to keep your mouth shut," Katara says.

 

***

 

Everything is tinged red and Zuko's chest is heaving.

He wants to hit something. He wants to kick something. He wants to kill something. Mainly Jet, although someone has beat him to the punch. He'd settle for Sokka, though. Idiot.

Zuko's skin feels unbearably hot as he paces around his room, hands fisted in his own hair.

With a shout of rage he shoves his hand forward and fire streams from his fist, powerful and unwavering.

He immediately feels better. Setting things on fire always did the trick.

Zuko pauses. _Setting things on fire…_

Zuko's room is now on fire.

" _Shit!_ "

He rips the blanket off of his bed, attempting not to panic as he throws it over the flames that are now consuming the left side of his room.

If he burns down the Western Air Temple he's pretty sure the Avatar won't let him stay anymore.

Using his bending he forces the flames to lower until they are barely nothing and can be easily put out by his now scorched blanket. He throws it back onto his bed after the fire has been extinguished and groans.

"Are you okay?"

He whirls around to see Katara standing in his doorway, waving her hand in front of her face in an attempt to disperse some of the smoke.

"I'm fine," he says through his teeth, although he can only imagine what this whole scene looks like. He's just set his room on fire. On purpose.

She sighs and walks forward so that he can see her more clearly. She obviously doesn't believe him.

"Zuko… about Jet—"

"No, no. It's fine. I'm fine. I mean, it's not like it's my business or anything, who you were with before me, so it totally doesn't matter at all that it's Jet."

Stupid motherfucker.

Katara looks somewhat ashamed. "It was a while ago, only a couple of weeks after I found Aang—"

"I said I was fine, Katara. You don't owe me an explanation." His voice comes off harsher then he meant, and he takes a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. It doesn't really work.

He turns his back to her and stares at the picture of his uncle.

He really wishes he could have seen him before he left, could have told him that he's trying to do the right thing. Even if his motivations behind 'doing the right thing' were somewhat selfish, at least he was here. At least he was trying.

When he turns around she's gone.

 

***

 

He lies on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

It hurts that he feels this way about her. He wishes beyond anything that he didn't. Things would be better if he didn't, he thinks.

Things would be easier.

There's a flicker of blue in the corner of his eye, but he pretends not to notice her. It's probably what she wants.

He gives it a moment before sitting up and looking at his now empty doorframe.

She's left him a new blanket.

He gets it and brings it back to his bed. It must have been one of Katara's because it distinctly smells like her. He wraps it around himself and inhales, his body relaxing under her scent.

He sleeps soundly that night despite himself.

 

***

 

Zuko is not fond of the Avatar.

That is the polite way to put it.

He does not want to be a downer, but if this small, annoying little boy actually defeats the Fire Lord then Zuko will eat his own toes.

Because at this rate the Avatar is going to be fried.

Also, the Avatar very obviously has a crush on Katara ( _his_ Katara), which is just flat out unacceptable. The Avatar is twelve and Katara is fifteen.

Well, no one can tell the Avatar that he isn't an optimist.

This morning's training session has been anything but successful. The Avatar is talented, sure, but his head isn't in it today. Zuko doesn't have the time nor the patience to play games.

He can feel the sweat on his back, on his neck, and on his forehead. He doesn't bother to wipe it off, but keeps correcting the Avatar's stance, the sweep of his arms, and the angle of his kicks.

He finally stops when the sweat is visibly lifted up and away from his and the Avatar's bodies.

He hadn't even noticed her watching the two of them.

"I brought you both drinks," she calls out softly, holding up two goblets.

The Avatar zooms over to her gleefully before thanking her and taking his drink. She gives him a smile, more maternal than anything else, before turning her head in Zuko's direction.

The smile fades from her face as her eyes rake over his exposed upper body. Something starts to burn in those blue eyes of hers, causing his heart to hammer and his palms to feel clammy.

Then she stiffens, turns away from him and starts up a meaningless conversation with the Avatar.

Zuko deflates. This is so fucking _unfair._

He marches away, not bothering to look back when the Avatar calls after him.

She'll talk to the Avatar. She'll moon over him and praise him like he's the Spirits gift to mankind (which he technically is but fucking whatever). She mourns Jet (he _knows_ she does), and it kills him inside to know that at one point in time she cared enough about him to—

He wonders what he, _Zuko_ , means to her, if he even means anything at all.

He wishes she would just tell him what he's doing wrong so that he could fix it. But hasn't he already started to fix things? Isn't he _trying?_ Does she even _care?_

He finds one of the multitude of fountains at the Western Air Temple and sits on the edge of it, fuming.

Zuko hates everything.

Then he sighs, because even that's not true.

He's not sure how long he stares at his shoes and broods, but he doesn't look up at Katara when she sits down next to him.

"He had rough hands."

Zuko blinks, furrows his eyebrows before turning his head in her direction.

She's looking right at him, eyes wide and searching, with her hands gripping her knees.

Zuko straightens up a little bit. "Who?"

She has to look up at him now. "Jet. He had rough hands. That's what I remember."

It is only natural that Zuko flips over his own hands and studies them. They're rough as well, from constant work with his bending and swordplay.

"I do too."

"Yes," she agrees, reaching over and tracing soft fingertips against his palms. He shudders. "But I remember a lot more about you then just the feel of your hands."

Zuko sometimes forgets that Katara can be just as soothing as her element.

He closes his hand over hers and she doesn't pull away.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like A Dove A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed! I've owed audreyii_fic this forever, seriously! Hope you love it, darlin'! :D
> 
> [ I did :) ]


End file.
